How Are You Doing?

Most of us have heard about Movember. If you're a sports fan, perhaps you have noticed quite a few male athletes suddenly growing a moustache in the late fall. I have participated in the past and was vaguely aware that Movember was started by a couple of Australians as a bit of a lark to see if they could make the moustache popular again. They had 30 participants in 2003. Twenty years later and the month-long campaign each November is now active across 20 countries including Canada, and has funded over 1250 men’s health projects. The charity is focused on raising awareness, programming, and financial support for men's mental health and suicide prevention, prostate, and testicular cancer awareness as well as programs on parenting and how to be a better dad. While I am not an active fundraiser, I am interested in understanding and raising awareness for mental health in particular. Many of us have navigated the seeming confliction in being a good leader, a good dad, and a good man, while also grappling with our mental health and how we are feeling. This is not always as simple as it seems.

Despite evolving gender roles and awareness, men remain far less likely to be informed and seek help for health-related issues. Research reveals large gender disparities in health status, with men at higher risk for morbidity and mortality. As with all studies, it is difficult to pinpoint causation, but greater engagement in risky behaviours and decreased use of preventative health care services are higher amongst men. Most societies and cultures still hold traditional beliefs on male gender roles and masculine norms. Men use less preventive health-care services and do not seek immediate treatment for many health problems. Resilience and inner strength are admirable qualities, but not scheduling regular medical check-ups and screenings or denying mental health concerns are neither stoic nor manly, and they can be deadly.

Men are less likely than women to be diagnosed with any of the most common mental health disorders, and those who have received a diagnosis are less likely to seek treatment. Yet nearly four times as many men as women die by suicide. Globally, one man dies by suicide every minute of the day. In Canada, 3 out of 4 suicides (and 80% in the US) are by men. From 2014 to 2023, over 14,000 people have died from illicit drug toxicity in B.C., and the great majority (~78%) have been men. Movember looks at mental health through a male lens, focusing on prevention, early intervention, and health promotion. While we have come a long way in recent years, hiding anxiety or depressive symptoms are not uncommon. Ongoing mental health education and support are critical to erode the stigma. We all have mental health, and we need to talk about it.

Listening carefully to your body and seeing your doctor regularly are important. Asking for help when you need it is healthy and can be transformational. Maintaining loving, caring connections with family and friends are also key foundations to good health. Having positive social connections and people you feel safe enough to talk honestly about your physical, emotional, and mental health are crucial, as is being the kind of person who will listen, and support others. 

Moustache or not, a good way to celebrate Movember is by checking in with the people you love, and with yourself. How are you doing?

Retirement

I am often asked how I am enjoying retirement and with a less scheduled life, there is a lot of time to ruminate. Whether you are close or many years away, this life transition awaits us all.  I certainly do not miss my long commute and hopeless struggle with the George Massey tunnel. Being away from work, I am more aware of the emotional and physical attrition that comes from being in a leadership role. I do miss the sense of fun, community and positive connections that came from working alongside young people and so many caring and dedicated colleagues. Our work forms a big part of our identity, our sense of belonging and purpose, and I now understand why some people choose to work longer or never really retire. I loved my role and appreciated the cognitive and social stimulation that work provided.

 

I was physically at work for 10 hours a day for decades, and it is not an exaggeration to say that I almost never sat down for an actual lunch break. This excludes the regular evening meetings, arts, athletics, graduation, and special events, and overnight and weekend experiences that all secondary schools offer, and good principals actively support. Once away from school, the challenges, troubles, and timelines of work were on my mind constantly. I know that good teachers work long days and spend many hours outside of class helping, sponsoring or coaching kids as well as preparing and marking. I also know that many people face much more complex and demanding careers, have shift work, are self-employed entrepreneurs, or are working more than one job to make ends meet. This knowledge is both humbling and helpful – I was fortunate to work in a great profession and I remain deeply appreciative of the time off, benefits and pension my work provided.

 

Advice to my younger self would include being clear on what your greater purpose is as this can get lost in the tsunami of day-to-day to-do tasks. You will become what you constantly think and talk about, so be sure to see the joy in your work and in your life. Appreciate and nurture positive people and relationships, and do not spend a lot of energy on the urgent, but less important. Do your best to live mindfully and do not take yourself or your work too seriously. You are not irreplaceable. 

 

Ending a career is the start of a new stage in life and one that is closer to the end than the beginning. Mulling over pension options and you are obliged to consider your own mortality!  After more than 45 years of having a job, I am still new to the rhythms of not working. I am learning to appreciate an unscheduled life and more time to be connected to my family and friends. I am reading more, traveling a bit, exercising regularly, including cycling, losing to my wife in pickleball, and playing a little more golf, alas, just as poorly. I am also choosing to spend more time with my dog and less time on social media. I still think about my purpose and wonder how I can contribute positively, and I imagine this will always be the case.

Cheers!

p.s. our daughter and son-in-law are expecting a baby in November. I am looking forward to an exciting new role as a grandpa, and I have been working on my Cookie Monster voice. 👶🏼

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